04 January 2014

Create a Pause

My main goals this year involve incorporating words like "calm", "zen", "quality" "bliss" and "me" into my life as often as possible. To that end I have restarted reading Scream Free Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel. I can't recall exactly when I started reading the book or why I set it down (to yell at the kids?).

Last night I was looking through the bookcases to count how many different Bibles we have when this book popped out at me. (hmmmmm) We have at least 7 different Bibles in our home, FYI.

The holidays have been particularly draining for us this year with so much extra going on in such a concentrated amount of time and I have been feeling at my wit's end frequently with the kids.

They have made gatherings and outings a challenge to enjoy and no amount of threats through gritted teeth have helped deter the rotten behavior. For a while I was thinking that I might just need to invest in an aspergillum.

I know my getting onto my kids in front of others makes others uncomfortable, but I cannot just ignore behavior (and I don't think I should). My problem is that I lose my cool when the inevitable Bad Behavior starts and that apparently fuels the fire with the children. (Here's my Emotional Remote Control! Have at it!)

SFP has been a good read so far and is helping me to have some hope again. We have agreed all along about not having a world centered around kids and we know that kids these days are plagued with entitlement issues and we do not agree that you should get a trophy for showing up. We want our kids to be independent, self-directed adults but we have fallen into a few traps. I read something tonight that hit home:

"The ‎entire family's emotional life is now tied to the whims, frailties, and growing pains of the least mature members of the family." (excerpt from SFP)

WHOA! What a concept... definitely shifting things around here....

Anyway, yesterday I was picking up some fleece rain boot liners in preparation of the ugly weather headed this way and on the way out of the store, this little makeup bag caught my eye. I think God was speaking to me again and knows I need to constantly have reminders in my face (and purse).

I hear Ya and I am trying to be still and listen a little more often...

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