Last week on our flight from Phoenix to Long Beach we ended up with The Flight Attendant from Hell! We were on a VERY small jet and Scott was wedged in the back of the plane (literally pinned in his seat) while I was in the first row aisle seat. No, not 1st class at all! Before the plane was fully loaded, I asked our flight attendant if the seat next to me was taken. She looked me dead in the eye with a glare of hate and said "I don't know!" in a voice usually reserved for someone who has slept with your husband or run over your dog! I recoiled in terror!
Soon after my seat mate arrived and we talked a bit about the layout of the plane, etc, when we saw the flight attendant slamming around the different bins for our refreshments. She squatted down on the floor and began talking to herself with I'm guessing her pre-flight mantra: "I HATE MY JOB!" "I HATE MY LIFE!". My neighbor and I were a little scared at this point praying that the pilot had a different mantra. It was obvious that our attendant was unhappy and was ready to spew her venom on the poor unsuspecting patrons on the jet. She went over the safety instructions with that same look of loathing on her face, but to make things interesting, or to completely jack around with us (or perhaps in an effort to keep important information from registering in our brains), she starting rolling her R's emphatically. The use of poRRRRRRtable electRRRRRRRRonic devices is stRRRRRictly pRRRRRRohibited afteRRRRR takeoff for safety RRRRReasons.
Somehow we got through that flight and we didn't dare bother the suicidal flight attendant for drinks. We didn't want anything to set her off. But at one point my seat mate RRRRREALLY stepped in it with her when we were landing. She actually had the GALL to ask the attendant if she knew on which carousel our luggage would be when we landed. I don't know why we expected a sweet, helpful answer, because what she got was another loathesome look accompanied by another "I don't know!" in that voice that meant "Go away!". Yikes!
So we deplaned in Long Beach and instantly our lives were transformed. It was almost like landing on Fantasy Island! The LGB airport is so small and quaint and pretty...laid back (security is 1 guy at a table who offers you plastic bags for your liquids if you happened to forget yours!) The weather was nice albeit a lot cooler than Phoenix. The airport personnel was very friendly. The shuttle driver who took us to the Queen Mary (who looked a lot like Snoop Dogg incidentally) was super nice as well. Every body seemed very happy to be alive! Hallelujah!