What if Gordon Ramsay and Dave Ramsey traded places?
I can just imagine how things might play out at my financial counseling session:
GORDON (Sifting through our "Unpaid Bills" Folder.): What is THIS? Macy's AND Home Depot? How many credit accounts do you need, you STUPID COW?
ME: Yes, chef!
GORDON (squinting in disgust at me): Oh shut up! Did you seriously charge 8 bags of mulch instead of paying cash from your "Home Improvement" envelope? ** bleep **
ME (eyes cast down): Yes, chef...
GORDON (in my face): LOOK AT ME! Why, why, WHY are you paying INTEREST on MULCH, DONKEY?!
ME (face on fire, tears running down my face): I-I-I really wanted the front flower bed to look nice for the party...
GORDON: C'mere YOU! GIMME THOSE CARDS! Now CUT them UP! NOW! NOW! NOW!
ME: (Trying desperately to cut up all my cards at once with kitchen shears so the Chef will get OFF my back, I snip my hand in the web between my thumb and pointer finger. I immediately pinch the cut shut, but not before the Chef looks up from my "Unpaid Bills" folder and spies the droplets of blood on the counter.)
GORDON: OMG, what have YOU DONE? Can't you do ANYTHING right, you inCOMpeTENT PIG!! ** bleep! ** SHUT IT DOWN! MEDIC!
[After the medic leaves.]
GORDON: (Pulling down his shirt front looking like he's about to TAKE FLIGHT! He snags a page from the printer.) Ok, here's your NEW BUDGET! Do you think you can handle it?
ME: YES, CHEF!
GORDON: PISS off!
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On the flip side: Would they rename the restaurant Heaven's Kitchen?
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